S.P.A.C.E. ADHD Group

ADHD Parent Support Group

Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder

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ADHD and Clutter

Two areas that adults with ADHD are more likely to struggle with than their peers are finances and keeping their homes tidy. Nobody expects small children to be tidy, organised or good with money, but we generally expect those things from adults, particularly if they have children to look after.

ADHD is a lifelong condition, but much of the support and strategies for adults with ADHD is still firmly focused on increasing their ability to concentrate during the day. Many adults with ADHD also struggle in other areas and it is not commonly recognised that the root cause of these challenges could actually be their ADHD.

Decluttering with ADHD

One of the many downsides to the focus on ADHD being centred on “naughty little boys” is that the rest of the ADHD community misses out. Common challenges and patterns of behaviour for adults with ADHD are missed, ignored or written off as personal failings. Untidy homes is one of these areas.

Children are usually untidy and generally disorganised, but as they get older, the expectations on them to know where their belongings are increases. This can lead to problems at school and battles at home about messy bedrooms. By the time our children are old enough to run their own households, it is generally accepted that they will somehow have all the necessary skills to keep their homes clean and tidy. Unfortunately many people with ADHD struggle to master the necessary habits and simply don’t understand why no matter how hard they try, their homes remain out of control.

There are lots of well known books, television shows and a variety of systems for getting homes under control, but many of them fail to work for those with ADHD and the way their brains work. This can lead to embarrassment and a lack of motivation. Decluttering sessions often make people feel guilty about wasting money or involve disagreements with other family members, all of which can make this a real challenge.

Much of the common decluttering advice is to take everything out of a space, organise it and then return the items you wish to keep. Unfortunately if a person with ADHD loses focus, is distracted or is interrupted, they are often left with a bigger mess than they started with. The decluttering process often requires a lot of executive function to make decisions on what to keep and what to let go of, which can lead to decision paralysis and hinder progress.

Dana K White is an American Author and Podcaster, who managed to get her own home under control and created a system that worked for her and many others. Dana’s A Slob Comes Clean podcast featured an episode with guest Megs Crawford who talks about how Dana’s No Mess Decluttering Process can be really useful for making steady progress, without making a bigger mess.

Dana’s books are also available on Kindle and as audio books for those of you who prefer to listen.

Decluttering Books

The following is a short list of books on the topic of decluttering that you may find useful. Feel free to share your own favourites with the team.

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Why We Don’t Want To Be Kim Kardashian

What does the world famous reality star Kim Kardashian have to do with a small Stockport based ADHD childrens’ charity? The answer to that is very little (as far as we know) other than the fact that we are both harnessing the power of social media to let people know that we exist.

Just like Kim, SPACE Stockport are on Instagram, but if you happen to follow us both, you’ll notice that she has a lot more followers than us and we’re totally OK with that. We are 100% fine with the fact that Kim has over 360 million Instagram followers whilst we only have 848, because Kim’s marketing goals are different to ours.

SPACE Stockport is run by parents of children with ADHD for parents of children with ADHD and as such we won’t be getting any celebrity endorsement deals. We don’t have our own cosmetic products, skincare range or clothing line. We don’t even have our own fragrance, but despite the lack of branded products we are on a mission. We’re on a mission to make sure that Stockport parents of children with ADHD know that we’re here. We are looking for what marketing professionals would call a niche market. If you live in Stockport and have a child with ADHD, then we are looking for you because we want you to know that we exist.

Our marketing goals are quite straight forward. We’re a non-profit organisation so the number of people that attend our monthly meetings and engage with us on social media doesn’t generate us any income. The committee is made up of volunteers, so nobody gets a new BMW if more people join us for a coffee and getting a 100,000 likes on Facebook or a million followers on TikTok won’t get any of us a bonus, but we’re still on a mission. If you are from Stockport and your child, or a child that you care for, has Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder then we want you to know that we exist, that’s it. That’s our mission.

Parents of children with ADHD are regularly told what they should be doing. We’re told that we are parenting our children incorrectly. We’re told that our children will grow out of it. We’re told that our children are eating the wrong foods. We’re told that our children just need a firm hand. We’re told that ADHD doesn’t exist and that our children are just badly behaved. Parents of children with ADHD are told lots of things. We’re not here to tell you anything. We’re here to provide information. We’re here to share our experiences. We’re here to signpost agencies that we have found useful. We’re here to make sure that you know you are not the only family going through some of the day to day challenges that you face. Even if local parents of children with ADHD never contact us, our marketing mission is that they know we exist, because if they know that we are here, then they know that they can get in touch if they want to.

Using Instagram and Facebook to spread the word about our existence may be relatively new, but we’ve been on a mission to support other parents for almost two decades. The venue has changed over time, as have the volunteers and the parents joining us every month, but the mission has always been the same, to make sure that people know that we exist. Stockport has less than 300,000 residents so if we manage to get a million followers then the chances are that most of them aren’t really interested in us and vice versa. We love having our Facebook posts shared and being retweeted on Twitter because somewhere amongst those extra readers will be more of the people we’re looking for.

If local parents know that we exist, then that means that they know they’re not the only parents going through the challenge of raising a child with ADHD. It means that if they have a bad day, they know that they can vent to us privately on Facebook. It means that they know that there is a network of other parents they can talk to. It means that they can find out about local conferences. It means that we can provide a source of information. It means that they are able to attend our specialist presentations. It means that once a month they can join us for a drink and a chat if they want to.

The bigger picture is that we want to fight the ongoing stream of ignorance about Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. We want to dispel the myths and ensure that our children are not penalised by schools for things that they cannot control, but our priority is to support families. If you have a child with challenging behaviour, the playground can be a lonely place. We can’t do anything about that, but when you’ve had one of those days we can be there to reassure you that you are not alone. We can’t do anything about the fact that raising a child with ADHD can lead to family disagreements on the best way forward, but we can be there to let you know that you are not the only family with those problems.

The reason our mission is to let people know that we exist is because if local parents know that we exist, then it means that they know that we’re here if they want us. It means that they know that they are not the only one and some days that’s enough. SPACE Stockport may officially only be three people on paper but we’re part of a much bigger community. A community of other parents who want the best for their children. Kim can keep her 360 million followers because we’ve got each other.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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NICE Guidelines

The National Institute for Health and Care Excellence (NICE) provide national guidelines and advice to improve health and social care and this month they released a new set of guidelines for Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD / ADHD) These new guidelines update and replace the previous guidelines from 2008.

The team here at SPACE are particularly pleased to see an increased focus within the guidelines on the diagnosis and treatment of girls and adults of both sexes. A common ADHD myth is that the condition only affects male children, which is now known to be completely untrue.

There are a number of common misconceptions about ADHD, particularly the idea that it is solely a problem of behaviour, which leads to the common stereotype of naughty boys shouting and throwing chairs. Whilst there are many cases where this is true, it completely ignores anybody that doesn’t present with those symptoms which creates a serious problem for those who have the Inattentive form of ADHD. The new guidelines includes a reference to attention issues, under recognition, highlighting the fact that ADHD is not a behavioural condition, despite the fact that it is often challenging behaviour that is most widely recognised.

By only recognising challenging hyperactive behaviour, children who are well behaved in the classroom and able to maintain a reasonable level of academic attainment are left to manage without support. This can lead to them fighting internally to control their behaviour during the school day and “exploding” the minute they get home.

Internalising the effects of undiagnosed ADHD is also a problem for adults, particularly women and there are large numbers of adults presenting with mental health complaints, which actually stem from a lack of diagnosis and support for ADHD.

The updated NICE Guidelines are for healthcare professionals, medical commissioners, those with ADHD and their families and carers. Outdated information is responsible for many people not receiving the support they need to thrive and we are pleased to see that the updated information from NICE recognises a number of factors which were not present in the previous edition, including a recognition of the hereditary factory. We are hopeful that this will lead to an improvement in diagnosis and training and lead to better outcomes for families with ADHD.

View the NICE Guidelines here: https://www.nice.org.uk/guidance/ng87/

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SPACE Take On The Titan – Sponsored Zipwire

On October the 7th the SPACE Team are travelling to Wales to take on the Titan.

Titan is a four person zipwire that flies 2000 metres down a Welsh valley, which raises the question of why four women, three of whom are terrified of heights, are driving to Wales to put themselves through that ordeal. The answer to that question is that they are raising money for SPACE Stockport, the ADHD parent support group they run.

Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) is a condition which is regularly characterised by hyperactivity, inattention and impulsivity. It is not necessarily a bad thing, but it can be challenging, especially if children and young people have problems managing their behaviour or experience difficulties at school.

Despite all the scientific research there is a lot of misinformation about ADHD, which leads to ignorance and negative stereotypes. To help combat these problems and raise awareness of the facts, we’re challenging the misinformation about ADHD by challenging our fear of heights. October is ADHD Awareness month so we decided to celebrate and raise funds for our group with a sponsored Zipwire.

ADHD is still stigmatised and parents and carers often find themselves on the front line. SPACE provides information, advice and support for parents in a friendly open environment, with others in a similar situation.We share information on a variety of topics including school conflicts, medication, and the diagnosis process. We are also able to signpost parents to services which can help them and their children. As a community of ADHD parents we are able to share personal experiences, which can especially helpful for those with a new diagnosis who may feel overwhelmed.

SPACE holds regular monthly meet ups and provides online support, but we’d like to extend the range of services we offer and unfortunately that costs money, so we’re taking on the Titan and we’d appreciate your support. If you’d like to make a donation to our zipwire challenge please visit our Just Giving page where you can donate securely.

If you happen to be in Wales on the 7th of October and hear screaming, don’t worry it’s just the SPACE Team supporting parents, abolishing myths and fighting sterotypes.

Wish us luck.

https://www.justgiving.com/campaigns/charity/s-p-a-c-e/adhd